How To Be a REAL Man | Advice For The Modern Gentleman (2024)

When you think of being a nice guy what do you think of?

Probably your mother telling you you’re a nice guy, right?

Do you know what I think about? My biggest crush in high school telling me: “You’re such a nice guy, but you’re not my type.”

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We’ve all been there or at least in a similar situation.

What do we do? How do we stop being the “nice guy?”

Today, you're going to learn the 4 ways you can go from being a “nice” guy to being a REAL man.

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How To Be a Real Man – Contents

  • What is a REAL Man?
  • Responsibility
  • Eclectic
  • Authentic
  • Love

What is a REAL Man?

You might be wondering what I mean by a “REAL” man. R.E.A.L. is an acronym, and it stands for – Responsible, Eclectic, Authentic, and Loving.

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This is what it means to be a REAL man. I strive for this each day.

And so should you.

Let’s break each of those down…

How To Be a Real Man Step 1. – Be Responsible

Everyone tells you to be responsible, but what does that mean? 100% ownership over everything in your life.

Everything you do, everything you say – you have to be accountable for your actions.

This includes the good and the bad. You can’t be afraid of owning up to a mistake.

For example, if when you buy a car outright, you have complete control over this car. You can change the color of it, a new radio, adjust your seat. You can do anything you want.

By having this in your life, you can change anything about your life you don’t like. You will own your life.

The responsible man incorporates the following 5 traits into being responsible.

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Honesty

Honesty is the best policy. You might be able to get away with a lie for a while but they will catch up with you at some point. Part of how to be a real man is telling the truth no matter what. Don't take the easy way out. Tell the truth.

Compassion

Compassion is a trait that many lack and I did for a long time. You need to look at people for who they are and understand that we all grew up with prejudices. Recognize your biases and divorce yourself from them. Be slow to judge – everyone comes from different walks of life. They all deserve kindness and respect from you.

Fairness

Fairness is needed to combat our prejudices. As humans, we love to classify things and put them into a box. Don't do this with people. By being unfair, you limit your outlook and probably miss many opportunities just because you think someone is something they aren't.

Accountable

You have to be accountable for your actions both good and bad. What do I mean by this: you acknowledge and accept the consequences of your actions. It is so easy to blame others for your problems or to do the wrong thing, the responsible man does the right thing and if he doesn't he acknowledges that and apologizes and strives to be better.

Courage

The responsible man dares to do the right thing. It is so easy to get caught up in the “group think” mentality. Before you know it, you're just going with the flow, and not realizing what you're doing is wrong. Stand up for what is right and break the mold. Go against the grain and have the courage to do the right thing.

How To Be a Real Man Step 2. – Be Eclectic

The dictionary definition of eclectic is “deriving ideas, style, or taste from a broad and diverse range of sources.” Don’t be boring.

It is very easy to become laser-focused on your career and only studying and reading about that. While that is important to a certain degree, it is even more important to branch out and learn more about everything.

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First of all, this will prevent burnout in your career. If you eat, sleep, live and breathe your job for too long, you will burn out. It is only a matter of time. Find a hobby or interest outside of work.

Secondly, being eclectic make you a much better conversationalist as well as just being more attractive. You won’t be as one dimensional, and you’ll be able to relate to others much more. This will also make people want to talk to you.

Get outside of your comfort zone and experiment. You will get to know yourself better and become a more rounded person.

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How To Be a Real Man Step 3. – Be Authentic

Being authentic is a cornerstone of being a REAL man. If you’re not authentic, everyone will notice and won’t trust you. Be genuine and truthful.

This means telling the truth even when it’s more comfortable to lie. This means being transparent and not misleading people for your gain. Men who mislead people may get ahead very quickly, but it will catch up with them and will cause them to lose everything.

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Don’t take the shortcut! If you’re ever in charge of a group of your peers, this is even more important. If you are authentic in communicating and expressing your ideas, people will trust you because they don’t have anything to fear with you.

People will often say, be yourself. I challenge you to be your best self. Speak from the heart and genuinely want the best for others.

How To Be a Real Man Step 4. – Be Loving

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Yes, the number 1 scariest word to men – love.

Now, I have to admit this might be the most challenging part to embrace. In today’s world, it isn’t easy to love others.

What do I mean when I say love others? I don’t mean romantic love with everyone. I suggest showing them unconditional love and appreciation.

Most of us men are brought up with the idea that love is a weakness. The “strong silent type” has become a standard among men. You think that if you don’t let people in then, they can’t hurt you. Let me tell you, they still can.

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!” – Rocky Balboa

So many people in our world today want to love. They crave it. As humans, we all crave it to a certain extent, and you need to have the strength to give that love.

This can be with your guy friends too. There has nothing to do with your sexuality. This has to do with you caring and appreciating a guy who has always had your back.

It doesn’t make you weak if you love; it makes you stronger than most. While most are too afraid to love, you are going out into life knowing that you might get hurt but that the love you take is equal to the love you make.

How To Be a Real Man – Summary

There you have it gentleman.

Now that you know what you have to do, why not start reading more about men's style to become eclectic?

Click here to check out the top 10 jackets you need in fall this year or check out more related articles below!

Click Here To Watch The Video – Don't Be A Nice Guy… Instead Be A REAL MAN

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  • 15 Texts You Should NEVER Send A Woman (Or Face The…
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How To Be a REAL Man | Advice For The Modern Gentleman (2024)

FAQs

How can a man be a perfect gentleman? ›

Respect a person's space by not standing too close when you talk to him or her. Respect a person's privacy by not peering over his or her shoulder or asking too many personal questions. The key is to make people feel comfortable and good about themselves, not like they're being mistreated.

What are the real attributes of a true gentleman? ›

A gentleman is generous with his time, wisdom, and resources. He looks for ways to help others. He is a servant leader, and his commitment to interpersonal kindness creates a positive workplace culture that boosts commitment, engagement, and performance. A gentleman chooses to be positive.

How to become a real man in life? ›

Develop your own principles.
  1. A man never steals, even if he is desperate. A desperate man learns to ask others to help him instead of helping himself to something he is not entitled to.
  2. A man helps others in need. ...
  3. A man trusts his friends, significant others, and family. ...
  4. A man never lies — to himself or others.

What is the first rule of a gentleman? ›

A real gentleman respects women

One of the most important gentleman rules: He knows how to deal with a woman correctly. First and foremost, this includes showing respect, listening carefully and standing up for her. Opening the door for a lady is just one of many gestures that make a gentleman.

What makes a man a perfect man? ›

Confucius says that “a perfect man is highly value-minded and does not follow any one. He is modest in words because he knows that people may make distortions easily in their speech. He is a man of action not words. A perfect man searches for everything in himself while an inferior man searches what he wants in others.

What marks a true gentleman? ›

17 signs you married a real gentleman
  • He's not afraid to ask for help or admit he doesn't know something. ...
  • He is honest, always. ...
  • He's got a great sense of humor. ...
  • He's not afraid of witty banter. ...
  • He has opinions, but he doesn't force them on others. ...
  • He knows who he is. ...
  • He is confident, but not overbearing.
Dec 22, 2016

What are the morals of a gentleman? ›

Gentlemen are empathetic, willing to engage with those around them. They work to understand where others are coming from, even when their perspective is at odds with their own. They engage, but do not attack. Of course, there are certain moral absolutes that we should insist upon as professionals.

What is the true test of a gentleman? ›

“This is the first test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible value to him

How do I teach my man to be a gentleman? ›

The ten tips will not only turn your guy into a more refined person, but he won't even realize you're doing it.
  1. Force Him to Dress Up. ...
  2. Wait for Him to Open the Door. ...
  3. Remind Him to Say Please. ...
  4. Remind Him to Say Thank You. ...
  5. Hold Fancy Dinner Parties. ...
  6. Go to Nice Places. ...
  7. Be the Example. ...
  8. Don't Reward Bad Behavior.
Mar 3, 2015

How a true gentleman acts? ›

A gentleman never tells

No spreading of scandalous rumours, or of speaking ill of others. A real gentleman always protects the integrity of both himself and those around him — so that means embodying the utmost discretion, and keeping any affairs or confrontations a tight-lipped secret. Nobody likes a bad-mouth.

What are the principles of being a gentleman? ›

A gentleman models civility in how he treats others. He demonstrates respect, restraint, and personal responsibility in all his interactions. He is honorable, and values and respects others. A gentleman is well-mannered and knows what is appropriate.

What are the five highest principles known to man? ›

These are the five most important laws of manhood of all time (updated for the modern, contemporary man).
  • Don't be a burden to others. ...
  • Never contribute negativity — especially online. ...
  • Take action because it is right, not because it is popular. ...
  • Go the extra mile, and make it personal. ...
  • Protect what matters, forget the rest.
Aug 5, 2020

What are the five characteristics of a man? ›

5 Characteristics of Real Men
  • THEY ARE WATCHFUL; ALERT [1] As men, we have to be aware of what is going on around us. ...
  • THEY STAND FIRM [2] ...
  • THEY GROW UP (e.g. mature, not boys // not beasts) ...
  • THEY ARE EMPOWERED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT [4] ...
  • THEY LOVE.
Jun 24, 2023

What makes a man a gentleman? ›

A Gentleman Has High Standards.

High standards push people to do the best they can, and gentlemen set them for themselves. A gentleman expects a high standard of quality, value, and functionality from the things he buys to the things he does. He expects as much of himself as he does of other people.

How can you tell a true gentleman? ›

17 signs you married a real gentleman
  • He's not afraid to ask for help or admit he doesn't know something. ...
  • He is honest, always. ...
  • He's got a great sense of humor. ...
  • He's not afraid of witty banter. ...
  • He has opinions, but he doesn't force them on others. ...
  • He knows who he is. ...
  • He is confident, but not overbearing.
Dec 22, 2016

How do I become a perfect man? ›

5 ways to becoming a better man
  1. Get raw with your emotions. Men have been conditioned to hide their emotions for decades. ...
  2. Be yourself and love yourself. ...
  3. Improve your communication skills. ...
  4. Be accountable and take responsibility. ...
  5. Surround yourself with supportive people.
May 12, 2021

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